Annie Leibovitz: Desperate to be Relevant Again

Oh Annie! First it was racist pictures of LeBron James, now it's sudo nude pictures of 15 year old Miley Cyrus. Nice! The once relevant photographer is obviously desperate to get her edge back. Some may think these pictures are edgy and reflect the classic Leibovitz style. Personally, I think it's edgier to make the controversy yourself rather then do something obvious and wait for the obvious reaction. It's as if she ran out of ideas and thought "I know what pisses people off. Racism and pedophilia." Good thinking Leibovitz.
Of course, she couldn't have taken these pictures without the permission of LeBron or Miley's parents. The moral of the story is; No one cares about your reputation but you, so protect it. Don't let some washed up "artist" sell you down the river for a career move. Shame on you Billy Ray you slack jawed yokel. You just let your daughter look like a whore in front of the world. Perhaps it's Billy Ray that is using his daughter to jump start his failing career. This story is all class. Lower.

Who's That? It's Mommy

The latest soul sucking phase in the plastic surgery craze is here. A book written by a plastic surgeon called "My Beautiful Mommy", that is meant to explain to small children why their mommy is going to come home from the hospital looking like a stranger. Of course, the "mommy" on the cover of the book looks like Pam Anderson in skin tight jeans and a crop top. Do most kids moms dress like whores now? The story includes a nose job and a tummy tuck, which the woman recovers from immediately and has very few bandages or repercussions from surgery. That's realistic. I guess if your goal is to look fake, then reading a book with fake results to your children fits right in with your lifestyle. God people suck!

Cindy McC*nt?

I love all the interviews with the candidates spouses. They try to seem perfect and real at the same time. Michelle Obama tells us how Barack leaves his dirty clothes on the floor. Of course we already know the Clinton's' aren't perfect. When Cindy McCain was on The View the other day they asked her what the biggest misconception about her husband is. She immediately answered "His temper." Everyone has heard of his famous temper. Yelling and swearing at other politicians, etc. That seems reasonable, but how about calling his wife a cunt in front of reporters and photographer's? Is that OK? I think not! If the guy can't even keep the dreaded "c" word to himself in front of people what does he say when only few are listening? I don't care how long his day was! That was his excuse for his behavior. How long are the days in the White House going to be? This is the kind of "diplomacy" we can do without. I only pray that Elisabeth Hasselbeck is hanging around the next time McCain "has a long day."

Congratulations Danica!

I have been rooting for Danica Patrick since she started Indy racing. I am so thrilled for her! I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited for all women. This is a sport that is new for women, and to have her beat the "old boys club" of racing is so great.
I have been so sick of hearing the whining and crying from these so called professional racers lately. First it was, "She can't win because she doesn't have the upper body strength." Then when they realized she could beat them, it was "It's not fair, she weighs less." Gentlemen, and I use the term loosely, get the sand out of your vagina's and deal with it. It's time to step up your game. You are more then welcome to; starve yourselves, binge and purge, live on cigarettes and diet cola or one of a million other things that women have been doing for YEARS to become models or just to resemble models. I guess now we shall see how much you really want to win. I can't wait until the "men" of Indy are sporting the gaunt look. So, screw you cry babies. Go Danica!!

Happy Earth Day

It's here, now what? Try something green dummy! Woody and I decided we would not drive our car today. We live and work downtown, so we don't drive that much anyway, but still everything helps. That's just one thing we are trying to help the environment. We have switched over our light bulbs to compact fluorescent, and thanks to Stanford we are all carrying fashionable hemp totes to the grocery store. Here is my list of the top 5 easiest things you can do to help the environment.

1. Replace regular bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs.
2. Use cloth totes instead of disposable grocery bags.
3. Recycle at home and at work.
4. Turn off the water while you brush your teeth.
5. Leave the car at home and walk or use public transportation whenever possible.

This is just a few easy low cost options that everyone can do to help our planet. After all, it is where we live. Happy Earth Day!

Happy Green Week

I hope everyone had a wonderful 420 yesterday! I know I did. It was the perfect kick off for a green week. As I am sure everyone has heard by now, tomorrow April 22nd is Earth Day. I remember when I was a kid Earth Day was just something they talked about at school. Now it's a big deal. Even large retailers' are on the band wagon. Almost every ad in the Sunday paper featured the stores eco-friendly products. I took advantage of the deals to complete the switch over of all my light bulbs to compact fluorescent. I know going green can be very over whelming, but if everyone took a moment to think of one thing they can do to help the environment that would be a great start. Compact fluorescent bulbs are expensive, so if you take advantage of periodic sales you can switch over gradually. That's just one easy way to help the planet.

Plastic Surgery Catalogue?

Yes! I got one in the mail today as a matter of fact. I suppose it's more of a large brochure than a catalogue, but still. There were actually coupons! The last thing I want is discount Botox. I suppose cosmetic surgery is a business, but it seems shady at best. Maybe I'm being naive. It is a very competitive field that has large market. I read ladies magazines, I know the statistics. I also know that many women every year fall prey to "easy" plastic surgery. Often people with less than great results had spontaneous procedures at "Botox parties", but discounts lure people in too. With the "deals" these quickie mart physicians offer it is just so tempting not to think it through and get a referral from your regular Dr and do your research. They even have cosmetic surgery stores at the mall now. I just think it's important to use a physician that doesn't accept non emergency walk-ins. The last straw was when I turned over the brochure I received and saw that the Dr's office was actually located on SW Shady Lane. I think that about sums it up. Don't you.

Bouncing with the Stars

As you know I love Dancing with the Stars. Which is why I feel badly that I am going to have to call them out and say something negative. The show has been a very positive influence when it comes to supporting many types of people. They have had older contestants both male and female, a one legged dancer and now a deaf contestant. I applaud all of these things. That said, they don't like the fatties. That fabulous Marissa Jaret Winokur can't catch a break to save her life. Those three bitches, Carrie Ann, Len & Bruno, have something negative to say every week!
This week she knocked them dead! I was so thrilled for her! The judges had nothing negative to say. Or did they? I was enjoying the glow of her success and energy when I had to rewind my DVR. An odd word had some how worked it's way into each and every judges comments. Carrie Ann said "You were bouncing! (pause) like bouncing!" Then Len weighed in with "More bounce to the ounce!" And Bruno brought it all together with "Bouncing like a beach ball" and "Once you got into it there was no stopping you!"
I believe those comments are what is technically referred to as "back handed compliments". The classics of this type of put down are:
1. You have such a pretty face. = but a big fat ugly body
2. You have so much potential. = but right now you are a looser.
You get the point. I do not think that this is an appropriate thing to do to someone in public as you are supposedly complimenting them. Shame on you three bitches!

The Self Challenge 2008: Month 2

Oy! The Self Challenge is killing me! OK, so it just feels that way sometimes. If you have joined Self Magazine in their annual shape up program, The Challenge, then you should be starting Month 2. I have been doing the Challenge for 5 years now, and I am always surprised at how much harder Month 2 gets. I know it's important to keep ramping it up, but ugh! That said, I have started to see real improvements. The scale has started to move in the right direction, and I feel better about myself in general. If you haven't started yet, it's not too late. Do yourself a favor and join the Self Challenge. It's the perfect way to get ready for the Spring and Summer party season.

Rage Report: Clip Shows

Last night Stanford and I sat down to indulge in one of our favorite guilty pleasures, America's Next Top Model. On the DVR the show was listed as new, but was it? NO! It was a clip show! You know, where they splice together old footage and add comments. The nerve of calling this new enrages me! When you buy a computer that's been tuned up they call it refurbished. This would be a much more accurate description of the clip show. It's not exactly a re-run because it is packaged differently. However, the one thing it is not is new. All I have to say is ANTM better have an actual new show on next week, or I see an angry e-mail in their future.

The Recipe Followers

It's everywhere! People are pooping out babies like the Earth isn't a mess because of just that. I do not get the lure of parenthood at all! The recipe followers are the worst! You know the couples. They go to college, graduate, get a job, get married, go to Europe, move to the suburbs and poop out a couple babies. If you're like Stanford and Woody and I, then you never hear from them again. We are the childfree by choice people. We're the ones that don't want to come over on a Saturday to drink punch and bring offerings to your baby. We don't encourage you to have them, so why should we have to spend money on them? We will never ask you to bring a gift for our child, and we will never get that Saturday back. We also know that it's not; drinking, smoking and sunning that make you look old. No, it's having kids! No sleep or time to take care of yourself, plus the damage from just being pregnant. It takes all of your time and resources to properly raise a child. That said, I can't figure out why people are surprised we don't want to do that. I admit it, I enjoy to do what I want when I want to. I feel liberated by the fact that I will never have to learn about fertility, or pay for college. If your looking for something to do for the environment and for yourself, give some thought to being childfree by choice. Besides, if you would like to spend time with kids you probably know someone who would be happy to lend you theirs for a weekend.

Beat That Dead Horse Hasselbeck

Polls show that the popularity of both Bush and his war couldn't be much lower. If you are wondering who makes up that tiny number on the support side, it's Elisabeth Hasselbeck. She is the queen of sticking to her guns no matter what the facts. She is willing to support the Republican party no matter what they do. Even when most of the party is starting to admit that the war is a huge disaster and that the recent surge has done nothing but escalate the violence. Not Hasselbeck, no sir, she is pathetically clinging to her original position. Granted, it is easier to keep up the same bullshit then it is to admit you're wrong. Some may say she beats this drum to distract people from the fact that her husband sucks compared to his brother. Or, perhaps it's to cover up the fact that she doesn't know what she's talking about. Either way, what do you expect from someone who thinks only people like her deserve the right to marriage. Shame on you Elisabeth!

To Green Dry Clean or Not

Lately everything is a decision that could possibly doom the Earth. My latest dilemma hit me as I was looking for something to wear. I realized that I would need to go to the dry cleaner's or buy something new. Of course, cleaning something you own is recycling and obviously better for the environment. Right? Sometimes it's hard to tell anymore.
I went on line and researched green dry cleaning
and located some shops in my area that offered the service. All of them were much farther from my home then the local shop I usually use. At that point I was about to crack from the pressure of trying to be eco- friendly. Finally I decided that it would be counter productive to drive out of my way to use a cleaner service.
A similar predicament came up when I made the switch to compact fluorescent bulbs. A friend of mine pointed out that if they break they have mercury in them and the clean up is quite hazardous.
I have decided that it is important to keep trying to make better decision for the environment even when it feels like you'll never get it right. If you forget your reusable bag at home every once in a blue moon, don't beat yourself up about it. And when you feel really stressed out, just ask yourself "What would Ed Begley Jr Say."