It all started about 10 years ago when I was suddenly promoted from assistant director to director of a daycare center. We had just come back from our honeymoon and I was thrust into a position I wasn't ready for without an assistant, like I had been, to help me. I loved my staff and working with the kids, but the parents and getting the money from the parents was too stressful.
I began having stress related insomnia. I would be exhausted from a 10-12 hour day working with people and fall asleep just fine. Then around 2 am I would wake up in a full panic and be unable to go back to sleep. Then I'd often get a call that someone was calling in sick so I'd have to go in early and stay late. I felt like I could never sleep or even relax and there was a ton of crying. On the weekends I would have to go in and do my paper work which I didn't even mind that much because at least it was quiet. It wasn't the long hours that stressed me out so much as the parents and my regional manager. I had a few parents that I had trouble getting tuition checks from every week and a manager that screamed a lot. I am just not the type of person that can turn a child away at the door because tuition is late.
In the end I quit after six miserable months. When I look back now, of course, I see things I could have done to possibly improve my situation and keep the job. However, I was so unhappy and making my poor husband miserable I'm sure. We went to Las Vegas that weekend and I partied my ass off!! Then I came home and slept for about three days straight. I'd get up and eat and go back to bed. I started taking an anti anxiety medication and started sleeping normally again.
The problem is I think this experience made me a freak about sleep and down time. I work in promotions at a radio station so when I work I deal with people non stop and am very outgoing. I imagine people see me as an outgoing person that likes to socialize and party all the time. In reality I play hard and rest even harder. Luckily I only work part time so I get random weekdays to just be at home puttering and keeping to myself. I often stand at my wall calendar holding my breath looking at my upcoming schedule. When I lock eyes on the day off coming up I feel I can exhale. I also feel the need to get in bed early most nights and "wind down". Sometimes I do that even if I took a nap!
Lately I worry this is holding me back. Do I really need that much down time? Is there such a thing as too much sleep? Would I be happier if I went and did things outside with other people on my days off? Should I make a busier social schedule for my husband and I? I see some people on the dreaded Facebook that seem to never have a sweatpants day even or evening for that matter. When do they recharge? I often joke that I have a touch of agoraphobia, but it didn't used to be that way. Maybe the going nonstop people wonder if they'd be better off if they rested more. Today I don't have to work, but I'm going to go for a walk with a friend. That's a good start.
Post a Comment