Wednesday, November 5, 2014

I Have A Rest & Relaxation Addiction

It all started about 10 years ago when I was suddenly promoted from assistant director to director of a daycare center.  We had just come back from our honeymoon and I was thrust into a position I wasn't ready for without an assistant, like I had been, to help me.  I loved my staff and working with the kids, but the parents and getting the money from the parents was too stressful. 
I began having stress related insomnia.  I would be exhausted from a 10-12 hour day working with people and fall asleep just fine.  Then around 2 am I would wake up in a full panic and be unable to go back to sleep.  Then I'd often get a call that someone was calling in sick so I'd have to go in early and stay late.  I felt like I could never sleep or even relax and there was a ton of crying.  On the weekends I would have to go in and do my paper work which I didn't even mind that much because at least it was quiet.  It wasn't the long hours that stressed me out so much as the parents and my regional manager.  I had a few parents that I had trouble getting tuition checks from every week and a manager that screamed a lot.  I am just not the type of person that can turn a child away at the door because tuition is late. 
In the end I quit after six miserable months. When I look back now, of course, I see things I could have done to possibly improve my situation and keep the job.  However, I was so unhappy and making my poor husband miserable I'm sure.  We went to Las Vegas that weekend and I partied my ass off!!  Then I came home and slept for about three days straight.  I'd get up and eat and go back to bed.  I started taking an anti anxiety medication and started sleeping normally again.
The problem is I think this experience made me a freak about sleep and down time.  I work in promotions at a radio station so when I work I deal with people non stop and am very outgoing.  I imagine people see me as an outgoing person that likes to socialize and party all the time.  In reality I play hard and rest even harder.  Luckily I only work part time so I get random weekdays to just be at home puttering and keeping to myself.  I often stand at my wall calendar holding my breath looking at my upcoming schedule.  When I lock eyes on the day off coming up I feel I can exhale.  I also feel the need to get in bed early most nights and "wind down".  Sometimes I do that even if I took a nap! 
Lately I worry this is holding me back.  Do I really need that much down time?  Is there such a thing as too much sleep?  Would I be happier if I went and did things outside with other people on my days off?  Should I make a busier social schedule for my husband and I?  I see some people on the dreaded Facebook that seem to never have a sweatpants day even or evening for that matter.  When do they recharge?  I often joke that I have a touch of agoraphobia, but it didn't used to be that way.  Maybe the going nonstop people wonder if they'd be better off if they rested more.  Today I don't have to work, but I'm going to go for a walk with a friend.  That's a good start.

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