The best word I can use to describe the month of April is aggressive. We moved, my husbands wonderful grandma passed away, he lost a crown and we are broke. While all for those things were rough being broke really magnified everything. It reinforced what I have known for a long time and that is, being broke is expensive. It forces you to make decisions that get you through the moment but may not be in your best interest in the long run. When you run tight on money a few cents can totally fuck everything up. The next thing you know you have fees and penalties adding up which put you farther in the hole. It reminds me of the old "Owe my soul to the company store" song where you can't get ahead. Not only that, I can't believe how much produce and proteins cost!!! It's no wonder families can't afford healthy food!
So far 2015 has been a money pit. I had that dental emergency that has traumatized me for life, we went on my dream vacation and we moved. That's why we're currently broke and I know that it is only temporary but it still feels scary and makes me less able to roll with the other punches that life throws. Even though I really hate being flat broke at this stage in life I know that moving to a less expensive apartment was absolutely the right thing for us to do. Watching what I spend has given me a new appreciation for the nice things that I often take for granted. It's good to have a reality check every now and again, but I'm ready to buy toilet paper without checking my balance again.