Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Fun Is Complicated

I find myself in a constant struggle between having fun and "being good".  I want to have fun so that usually wins out, then I beat myself up after.  On the one hand I feel like I'll never wish I had stayed home and had more sensible meals when I'm old and looking back on things.  On the other hand I wonder if feeling great about how I look would be worth it, but what fun is being thin if I'm sitting at home desperately trying to maintain it?!  I wonder if people like Jennifer Aniston ever tire of not having the cookie or extra glass of wine.  Maybe they feel so happy with their achievements that they don't miss those things.  Can that be? 
I over indulged last night which is annoying for a weeknight.  I was supposed to go to a party that got canceled and instead of staying home I decided I still needed to go out to dinner.  I spent the evening saying I should be more adventurous and go out on weeknights more etc.  Of course I woke up this morning thinking I should never go out again and I should probably be punished.  What's with the self guilt trip?  What makes it worse is I have to work tonight, so I'm spending the day moping around the house waiting to go to work.  I swear I really am my own worst enemy, I drive myself crazy!  I am so lucky to have a husband that's willing to give me pep talks about what I consumed the night before. I did ride my bike for 30 minutes which did make me feel better.  Now I need to decide between another productive activity and a nap.  I swear I can't handle an unsatisfying nap though! 

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