The Company You Keep

A friend at work that I see on a semi regular basis noticed that I'd lost some weight and asked how I'd done it.  It took me a few moments to answer.  I realized that one of the biggest factors in my current weight loss is who I have been spending my time with.  I still go out to lunch and have wine on a regular basis and go to happy hour, but not 3+ times per week like I used to.
Last year I was working with a friend that had almost as much free time and spending money as me and it was so fun and easy to just skip out in the afternoon and have long wonderful lunch/happy hours.  She no longer works close by and has taken a drastic pay cut in order to improve her life overall.  That's one partner in crime that's gone from going out a few times a week to about once a month.  We're both saving money and it's a real treat when we do get together.
My husband has stopped bringing home snacks and cooking multiple dinners per night so my temptations have been greatly reduced at home.  That is such a relief!  I used to feel so pissed off when he would have dinner then make several other things.  Not only did I wonder why I bothered cooking, but also I like to eat anything I want whenever I want too and it doesn't help when other people are doing just that in front of you.
My priorities have recently changed as well as my weight.  Deciding to buy a house quickly to take advantage of the lower interest rates and get out of the ridiculous rental market has put a focus on not spending extra money when possible.  Going out to fancy dinners has been reduced significantly which is ok because we went everywhere over the holidays.
As a result of all of these changes around me I have lost some weight.   It's amazing how losing some weight makes you feel better so you try to make better choices and work out more.  It's just goes to show what a little positive reinforcement can do for your waist line and your bottom line.

One Week Later

If I knew then what I know now I would have been so much less optimistic.  The toothache from hell has taken over my life!  I am now, one week later, finally on the mend.  I didn't end up having to go to the hospital, but it got close at the end of last week. 
Today is the first day I was able to exercise and I made it 30 minutes on my stationary bike then I was exhausted.  I have finally lost a few pounds from not being able to eat or go out and that feels great!  At least it gives me something to motivate me to get back in the swing.  The one thing I never wavered on was my food logging.  I am truly surprised that I did it, but the Myfitnesspal app kept reminding me to log in and telling me how many days straight I had logged in.  I have been recording my food for over 30 days and that is really satisfying.  I was feeling so low last week, and it feels great to have some positive things at the end of it all. 
Now I have to really buckle down and work hard to lose weight before vacation.  I really think I could lose 5 more pounds before Hawaii.  One thing that's really helping my weight right now is I haven't had any wine in over two weeks.  Being sick interrupted my work out's, but it was off set by the lack of food and wine so I really need to just concentrate on moving forward and doing my best.

Day 5 2015 Going Strong

Today is the first Monday of the 2015 and so far so good.  To be fair it's my perfect day,  my husband is at work and I'm home watching Friends on Netflix cleaning the house like my life depends on it.  The first two days of the year I got the holiday stuff cleaned up and out of here, but you can't really get a good clean with a husband hanging around making messes. 
I go back to work tomorrow and it's my toughest kind of day.  I don't have to check in until 4pm and I don't get done until 8:30pm.  This is my low resistance zone that encompasses happy hour and late night eating when I get home.  My current plan is to bring two sandwiches with me so I can have one for lunch and one for early dinner.  If I have one left over I can bring it the next day when I have to work a longer day, but just as late.  This is going to be a pretty good challenge to kick off the year with.  The next hurdle is the upcoming weekend, I'd like to go out a little maybe.  Who am I kidding?!  Ideally I would stay in next week but I fear a lunch invite from my friend on Friday and I really don't think I can resist.  Maybe if I don't go crazy I won't have to. 

So Close

I was really on a roll last time I checked in.  I was biking and cooking low carbohydrate meals at home.  I even tried new recipes!!  I made masked cauliflower and it was great!  Even my husband liked it.  Then the social activities started on Thursday afternoon and didn't stop until Sunday night.  I really lost focus and did all the things that got me to this weight in the first place.  Did I have fun?  Yes! 
That's the issue, is it worth it to skip the fun for thin?  I imagine a fitness person might say you have to re-frame what fun means to you to achieve your fitness and weight loss goals.  I suppose pretending you enjoy sipping water while everyone else is having wine and cheese plate.  However, I felt really good about myself while I was on task and not so much when I wasn't.   When I was with my friends and drinking I was having fun, but the regret was pretty brutal. 
I did enjoy the feeling of accomplishment I had for a few days last week, and I see it as something worth pursuing.  I went to the store to get meals for the first three days of the week.  I plan to make ahead salads for tomorrow night so that I can just heat up some meatballs and pull out the ready made side.  I really need to get serious and succeed so I can get off this roller coaster.  It's exhausting! 

Small Wins, Small Gains

Last week I set a two level goal for myself, I would be thrilled to not have wine until this coming weekend, or happy with myself for making it to this past Friday.  I made it to Friday and it was a struggle, but I did it!  I turned down at least two invitations for meals and wine out and they were each difficult.  Thursday night I was beside myself with cravings for a patio dinner in the sun of salad and Pinot Gris.  However, I persevered and I felt great about it.  That is until I got on the scale this morning.  WTF?!!  I have put on another two pounds!  I'm freaking out!  I actually cried and considered canceling my trip to Hawaii. 
After I pulled myself together I realized I only have one choice and that is to keep trying.  I will drink a ton of water and see if the bull shit I'm selling myself about water weight is at all true.  I have logged breakfast and I'm going to plan some extra exercise.  I ordered a swim suit online that arrives Wednesday so I need to get a grip.  I also need to talk to my husband about the lead up to weight loss surgery.  There's been a lot of talk about how it will be good for both of us, which is true, but I will still have to diet and exercise to lose my weight and I need to stop this dream talk. 
My goals for this week are simple; exercise, eat light, avoid salt and wine. 

Fun Is Complicated

I find myself in a constant struggle between having fun and "being good".  I want to have fun so that usually wins out, then I beat myself up after.  On the one hand I feel like I'll never wish I had stayed home and had more sensible meals when I'm old and looking back on things.  On the other hand I wonder if feeling great about how I look would be worth it, but what fun is being thin if I'm sitting at home desperately trying to maintain it?!  I wonder if people like Jennifer Aniston ever tire of not having the cookie or extra glass of wine.  Maybe they feel so happy with their achievements that they don't miss those things.  Can that be? 
I over indulged last night which is annoying for a weeknight.  I was supposed to go to a party that got canceled and instead of staying home I decided I still needed to go out to dinner.  I spent the evening saying I should be more adventurous and go out on weeknights more etc.  Of course I woke up this morning thinking I should never go out again and I should probably be punished.  What's with the self guilt trip?  What makes it worse is I have to work tonight, so I'm spending the day moping around the house waiting to go to work.  I swear I really am my own worst enemy, I drive myself crazy!  I am so lucky to have a husband that's willing to give me pep talks about what I consumed the night before. I did ride my bike for 30 minutes which did make me feel better.  Now I need to decide between another productive activity and a nap.  I swear I can't handle an unsatisfying nap though! 

Any Day Now

Maybe I'm an optimist, or maybe I fit the definition of insane for once again thinking I'm really on track this time.  Either way, I do feel hopeful and what I would call motivated.  I have not lost any weight since last week, but I went out of town for a few days and didn't gain any.  I have set a goal for this Friday and I am going to do everything I can to achieve it.  So far I am having luck with the other non weight goals that I have been setting which is something.  Here's how last week shaped up with a 3 day vacation in the mix.

Recap:

• 10,000 steps 6 of 7 days: I exceeded 4 of 7 and was less than 1,000 away 2 of 7
• Plank 6 of 7: I made it 4 of 7
• Food log 5 of 7: I made it 4 of 7 but exceeded calories 3 of those 4 times
• Bike 3 days 30 minutes: Did it!!!  This was my real win for the week.

I felt that these goals were achievable, and that I will meet or exceed them this week.

 Goals for this week:

• 10,000 steps 6 out of 7 days
• Log food 5 out of 7 days
• Plank 6 out of 7 days
• Bike 3 times for 30 minutes or more 

I went to the beach last weekend and had a really great time.  I don't feel like I busted either my calorie or money budgets which feels great!  I have a busy time at work coming up, and I am a little nervous about resisting the urge to treat myself to things just to make myself feel temporarily better.  I am going to pick out a nice restaurant that I would like to go to next time the occasion arises so that I don't burn an opportunity on mediocre. 
I still have not used my credit cards!  This is a huge win for us!  We went to the beach this weekend and it would have been so easy to use the vacation special event excuse.  The less I spend the more I think about what I'm spending.  I have had a few bumps along the way such as only bringing one bottle of wine this weekend and having to pay $3 more to purchase it at the beach.  Live and learn. 

Get Serious

I ate too much and I drank way too much this weekend, of course, I did have a great time.  Now that the holiday weekend is behind me it's time to get serious about this whole losing weight thing.  The big calorie tanker is wine, there I said it!  I do love to have as much wine as the evening (or afternoon) calls for without a thought to the liquid calories.  In addition I do love to eat a lot after my defenses are down.  Proof of this is sitting in my cupboards and freezer in the form of ill advised drunken snack purchases made over the weekend.  That reminds me I need to clean that out right away. 
No point dwelling on the past, time to move on.  How is the hard part.  My friend and often partner in crime is cutting back on her drinking so that will help me.  If I limit my wine to 2 days per week I could cut calories and spend less.  Take out is cheaper than eating at the restaurant and less temptation for wine and bread.  With the great weather comes more opportunities to get out and walk and I have been taking advantage of a lot of those.  I just need to stop acting like I'm on vacation.  I'm sure lots of people go out to dinner and still meet their goals.  I just need to keep working at being one of them.  My goal for this week is to log everything from Monday to Thursday in my food journal.