Ups & Downs

I hesitate to complain because I am doing so much better, but last night was rough.  I think the antibiotics are making me have night sweats and the last time I woke up I was feeling genuine discomfort.  I've stopped using the word pain to describe anything that isn't excruciating now that I know what true pain is.  I may have over done it yesterday, so I'm not going to ride the bike today.  I would like to fit some lunges into my routine, but that's about it.  I had been off prescription pain pills for over 24 hours when I had to resort to taking some in the middle of the night.  
One thing I haven't mentioned is how great my husband has been through all this. I honestly don't know what I would have done without him!  A lucky side effect when I'm sick is I'm super quiet and very agreeable.  Since I'm normally a little high strung and opinionated it's a nice break for me and for the person taking care of me I would imagine.  For a brief period of time I experience what it's like to just go with the flow and let things be. 
That makes it easy to tell when I'm starting to get better, suddenly I notice the way the dishwasher is loaded or that the garbage needs to go out and I feel agitated.  As much as I enjoy not sweating the small stuff it is nice to only have small stuff to worry about.  It's even nicer to have someone that will hold your hand in the middle of the night and make things big and small seem better.  What's really important is to appreciate the good things in life and at least try to go with the flow every now and again.  I'm so thankful to be married to my best friend and I can't wait to go to Hawaii no matter what the scale tells me to feel!

2015 Day 6 Stay Strong!

Today is the day I fear the most, a late work day with lots of time to kill and opportunities to feel like I deserve to treat myself.  I have been really proud of myself so far and I really want to keep that feeling.  I have designated Friday as my cheat day and if I give in now that will ruin the fun later and I won't have anything to look forward to.  I also ordered some face stuff and I have to send it back if I give in to temptation today or tomorrow. 
I've been finding a lot of encouragement from the Today Shows month long segment #startToday.  All my favorite ladies are giving advice on the top issues of the new year; diet, exercise, money and organization.  I have exercised and made dinner for the last 3.5 days!!!!  Part of my resolve has also come from knowing I only have 53 days before I want to be on the beach in Hawaii wearing a bikini.  Stay Strong!!!!!!

Small Wins, Small Gains

Last week I set a two level goal for myself, I would be thrilled to not have wine until this coming weekend, or happy with myself for making it to this past Friday.  I made it to Friday and it was a struggle, but I did it!  I turned down at least two invitations for meals and wine out and they were each difficult.  Thursday night I was beside myself with cravings for a patio dinner in the sun of salad and Pinot Gris.  However, I persevered and I felt great about it.  That is until I got on the scale this morning.  WTF?!!  I have put on another two pounds!  I'm freaking out!  I actually cried and considered canceling my trip to Hawaii. 
After I pulled myself together I realized I only have one choice and that is to keep trying.  I will drink a ton of water and see if the bull shit I'm selling myself about water weight is at all true.  I have logged breakfast and I'm going to plan some extra exercise.  I ordered a swim suit online that arrives Wednesday so I need to get a grip.  I also need to talk to my husband about the lead up to weight loss surgery.  There's been a lot of talk about how it will be good for both of us, which is true, but I will still have to diet and exercise to lose my weight and I need to stop this dream talk. 
My goals for this week are simple; exercise, eat light, avoid salt and wine.