February Blahs

I just realized it's been a while since I checked in.  Mostly I think that's because I have been completely stagnating and have nothing to report.  I haven't gained any weight, which is the most amazing thing ever, but I also haven't made any progress.  I continue to be at a weight I don't totally hate, but that is still some hard work away from my goal weight.  I'm in that limbo time of year where summer cloths and vacations still feel far away.  Unfortunately this is exactly when I should be powering ahead to reach my goals before it's too late.
I need to find a way to help me focus even though I'm all bundled up in my winter cloths.  Some of the things that have worked in the past are; hanging pictures of the place I was going, using a chart system to earn cash for a specific goal and posting my goal weight on the wall.  In fact, I believe it was a combination of all three that helped me along when I went to Hawaii last year.  Maybe I'll give it a try, it can't possible hurt.
Last week I heard something about it being the day of the year that most people throw in the towel on their New Years resolutions and gyms everywhere become noticeably less crowded.  This is also the time of year that my mother in law insists on going somewhere sunny.  It's nice to know I'm not alone in my lethargy, but it's time to snap out of it.  Good bye February it's almost time to March ahead.

Last Minute Goal Ditcher

I did it again!!!  I turned down an invitation to go to happy hour and Portland Burger Week then I caved in to a spontaneous pizza lunch!  Then to top it all off I lured my friend out to dinner and more drinks instead of having a sensible dinner and staying in to watch our shows.  I don't know why I can't just go to lunch and not totally over do it.  It's the most frustrating thing about me second to going to lunch after I told myself no in the first place.
Here's the thing though, I had a really good time.  I have a friend that's really sick and I bet he never sits around wishing he spent more time hydrating and watching tv! As I have said a million times after doing this exact thing, I have to just move on.  I'm going to have a prescription food day, pre measured everything and lots of water.  

Secret Not Drinking

Sometimes I have a vision of what needs to happen, or not happen, in a week to meet my goals.  For example, this week we are leaving for a couple days at the beach and I would like to leave early in the morning. This means no drinking the night before so I can get a good nights sleep and wake up feeling my best.  In order to insure that I don't get too excited the night before and blow it I have schedule a night out with friends the night before that. This way I'll be all partied out and ready to relax and get ready for my trip.  The next level of the plan is that in order to want to go out that night I can't go out the night before that.
So when my friends invite me to things that threaten my carefully calculated plan I freak out a little. Sometimes I don't feel like justifying my reasons to people so I just make a random excuse.  I'm not sure if I'm embarrassed that it takes that amount of self manipulation or if I don't want to argue the validity of it when they don't care and still want me to do what they want to do.
Last week I over indulged and this weekend I will also want to indulge a little.  In order to keep my weight on track something has to give.  This week I only get to go out one night, and that's that. What bothers me is that I feel guilty somehow about sticking to what I want.  I can't decide if it's my friends that make me feel that way or if I make myself feel that way.  It really is a huge compliment that people want to spend time with me, but sometimes I can't reach my goals and participate in all social activities that I would like to.
This brings up the same conundrum I always find myself in.  Is it better to meet your goals or live life with friends to the fullest?  For now I will try my best to balance the two.

Conflict Of Interest

Sometimes I feel like I am my own worst enemy.  Not just in the going out spending and consuming way, but also in the not taking opportunities way.  I will randomly go out on a weeknight, but say no to a weeknight invite ahead of time to a band or event.  I could call it trying to follow my goals, but am I?  Maybe I just don't want to try new things.  I think I do, but what if I really don't?  Sometimes I hear what other people are doing and I worry that my choices are wrong or worse boring.    

I may succumb to the desire to go out on a weeknight, but the goal is always to wait until Friday.  Is that even a worthy goal?  On Sunday I like to relax and get ready for the week, like the Seinfeld Episode I have to wind down before I start my week.  I have a friend that doesn't have that need at all. She calls it "bad decision Sunday" and treats it as if it was as good a day as Saturday.  I am so jealous of that attitude.  On the other hand, when I do go for it on a weeknight I end up often regretting it the next day.  Monday feels daunting when you're in worse shape than you were Friday.  I suppose a good compromise would be to try to stop the random going out for no reason and join in when a good opportunity comes along.  I really am trying to save money and lose weight and none of those things are helpful.  Life clearly can't be all about those two things.  It's the constant struggle to achieve a balance between the things we want and the things we should want.  

Getting With The Program

I've had a couple days to get used to the changes that need to be made around my house.  You don't realize how much buying things at the grocery store becomes a habit that supports your eating habit.  I spent all day today trying to stock up on the right kind of low carb low sugar foods while still getting what I want.  What I realized is what I want is to continue eating like I have been but lose weight.  Since that's not going to happen I think I'll give this new style of eating a try.  I really don't need that much pasta and bread and I obviously don't have losing weight all figured out so it really does seem like it's worth a try.
One thing I noticed is how expensive all the foods are that are low carb, high protein and produce.  Luckily since my husband just quit nicotine gum we are saving $200 a month there.  Also, if we eat out less it should all even out in the end.  Even though the beginning of a lifestyle change is hard I know it will be worth it in the end. 
I am so thankful for my stationary bike and incredibly walkable neighborhood.  Exercise is the one consistently goal orientated thing I do and it really makes me feel better.  I skip days sometimes and the next day I always dread it a lot less because it really does help.  Of course, if life get busy it can easily go out the window.  

A Goal To Work Towards

I finally have another goal to work towards.  We will be seeing a large group of our family in two months and I would like to look my best.  I started my day by riding my bike for an hour and then I walked around town and I really think I can hit my 10,000 step goal for the day.  I went to the store to get breakfast and lunch for the week and dinner for two nights.  This will take me to Friday when I plan to have a cheap happy hour dinner and then cook at home Saturday and Sunday.  Of course it's Monday so we all know about the best made plans.  I work one evening this week and in the past that's been a trigger for me to spontaneously drink and over eat.
The other thing that is affecting me currently is that we are broke from all the moving expenses and having just been on vacation and the tooth emergency.  In some ways it's a good way to be forced to do the things you know you're supposed to do.  My goals include eating in which is convenient since I can't really afford to go out.  It also made me follow through and get a library card.  We have a great library and I should be taking advantage of it!  The weather is fantastic in Portland right now so that really helps with my motivation. 

Vacation Rebound

I had the best vacation ever!!!  I hit my goal weight the day before we left and I enjoyed every minute of our trip.  It’s to be expected that I have put on a few pounds after two weeks on vacation.  What I had forgotten about is the post vacation diet rebound.  In order to keep the vacation vibe going I tend to overindulge, and this month is Portland Restaurant Month where the best restaurants in town offer a three course menu for $29.  

Needless to say I am having a bit of trouble with moderation.  Luckily the one thing that’s going on track is my exercise habit.  I feel very lucky to have the convenience of a stationary bike at home.  It eliminates the excuses and makes things so easy for me.  We are also very fortunate to be having really great weather in Portland right now.  

I want to remember how ecstatic I was when I hit my goal weight, it was one of the best feelings.  I feel like the bathing suit weather vacation really gave me the drive to meet my goals.  I have a birthday coming up in just over a month and I want to get back to my pre vacation weight.  I need to go back to doing exactly what I was doing before I left.  I know it works and hopefully it will be easy to fall into those habits.  I need to do a full hour of cardio most days and weights a few times a week.  I also need to record my calories in myfitnesspal app for every bite I take and I need to leave some calories on the table at the end of each day.  There, now I just need to execute.

Weight By A Date

In Portland right now it's beautiful and sunny unlike the rest of the country that's covered in snow.  I love Spring preview, as it's called in Portland.  We know it won't last, the rain will return, but enjoy it while it lasts.  That attitude is not always helpful for goal achieving.  On the one hand you can go out and walk around, but on the other hand going to happy hour and general frivolity become even more tempting. 
I'm trying to combine success and fun and I over did on the fun yesterday.  It wasn't that big a hit on the scale, but it didn't feel good this morning.  That's the thing about working towards a goal, it can't always be a step forward sometimes you have to accept the step back.  I have a strict deadline for the goal I am trying to achieve this time.  I think that has really helped me stay on track because I know I want to feel great on vacation.  I've decided that I know I've worked hard and I'm going to enjoy myself no matter what, but it really would be awesome to hit my goal weight.  Even as I type this I'm scolding myself for attaching so much importance to a simple number that can fluctuate with each grain of salt. I can choose to either live and die by the scale or enjoy feeling great, the choice is mine to make. 
I think I'll do this; keep working out as much as possible, log all my calories, drink lots of water and enjoy my friends and family.  No one ever left this world wishing they'd missed seeing friends so they could sit home and obsess about their weight!  So what if I weigh 142 instead of 140 when I leave for vacation!  Is that really the most important thing?  I won't have a scale on vacation, so for all I know that's water weight and I could be at 139 at some point on the trip.  Should I sit in my room and pout or should I go snorkeling and try new foods and activities?!  I will only use the scale for good and not for evil.  So there!

2015 Day 3

It's always bitter sweet to put the Christmas decorations away.  On the one hand everything looks less festive, but on the other it's much cleaner and fresher.  I really do love a fresh start and this is going well so far.  I took the first two days of the year to clean up and regroup after all the holidays. 
Now I feel ready to get this year in gear.  I rode the stationary bike and made breakfast at home, so far so good.  I really do have two goals and luckily they compliment each other.  I want to lose weight and save money.  Since most of my money is spent on drinking and eating that should help.  I always try to think of some fun incentive, but in the end it's only the shear will to achieve my goal that keeps me going.  I still might pay myself to work out and eat at home, it sounds fun, in theory anyway. 

Checking In

I don't have much in the way of news lately.  I am having some success with my daily biking and I do find that the extra activity makes me feel better.  Even when I'm walking I can tell that my legs are getting stronger.  I have a cold so I'm feeling a little blah.  I feel a little intimidated by my weight and financial goals.  I keep thinking if I were a person that was comfortable with moderation and self control I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.  I mostly feel like napping and eating pastries, but I continue to torture myself with the idea of achieving goals.  Wouldn't giving up be easier?  Probably not:)

Small Wins, Small Gains

Last week I set a two level goal for myself, I would be thrilled to not have wine until this coming weekend, or happy with myself for making it to this past Friday.  I made it to Friday and it was a struggle, but I did it!  I turned down at least two invitations for meals and wine out and they were each difficult.  Thursday night I was beside myself with cravings for a patio dinner in the sun of salad and Pinot Gris.  However, I persevered and I felt great about it.  That is until I got on the scale this morning.  WTF?!!  I have put on another two pounds!  I'm freaking out!  I actually cried and considered canceling my trip to Hawaii. 
After I pulled myself together I realized I only have one choice and that is to keep trying.  I will drink a ton of water and see if the bull shit I'm selling myself about water weight is at all true.  I have logged breakfast and I'm going to plan some extra exercise.  I ordered a swim suit online that arrives Wednesday so I need to get a grip.  I also need to talk to my husband about the lead up to weight loss surgery.  There's been a lot of talk about how it will be good for both of us, which is true, but I will still have to diet and exercise to lose my weight and I need to stop this dream talk. 
My goals for this week are simple; exercise, eat light, avoid salt and wine. 

Restaurant Addicts Diet: Weighty Issues

I am not living up to my full potential where my life goals are concerned.  I have a ton of fun, which is great, but I am not making progress towards the goals I said were important to me.  Each week I set small goals towards the things I want to achieve such as steps, planks and logging my food intake.  Why do I want to do these things?  What is my motivation?  Isn't having fun enough?  So, I decided I needed to take a look at my true goals in order to re-motivate myself.

I want to lose weight.  I am not that far away from my goal weight, and yet I can't seem to make it happen.  I want to lose 13 pounds, but why?
 Losing the weight would take more working out and that would mean I was in shape.  When I'm in shape I feel more confident and find daily tasks easier.  It is more fun to wear cute cloths and cute cloths are easier to find when I'm in shape.  I think I would look younger if my face was less puffy.

I want to save money.  I love to go out and eat and drink which is contrary to my goals, but adds so much fun to my life.  My favorite thing to do is go out to bars and restaurants and eat and drink with friends.  Unfortunately this is why I need to lose 13 pounds and why I have no savings. 
I need savings in order to have a secure future.  All the fun evenings won't make up for poverty in retirement.  Buying a condo would help to secure my future and the discipline to do so will also impact eating habits. 

It seems that if I ate out less I would save both money and calories resulting in two goals one stone.  So why is it SO difficult not to go out to eat?! I can think of several reasons right off.  First, I don't enjoy to cook.  And even more so, when we go out to dinner my husband is forced not to be on the computer.  We actually sit face to face and talk for 30-60 minutes straight.  I feel like this is when we do our talking and make our future plans. 
What's the solution?  I do NOT want to stop going out it's my favorite thing, but I DO want to lose weight and save money.  I need an action plan to achieve this that addresses the following; increase activity, make smarter food choices more often, save money everywhere possible, find less expensive restaurant options. 
It sounds like I have my work cut out for me, but I do love a project that requires making lists.  I am going to make a plan to help me maximize my fun and achieve goals.  I know I have cuts both financially and caloric that I can make when it doesn't matter so that I an keep the things I love and still move forward.  Wish me luck!

Restaurant Addicts Diet: Week 3 Goals and Update

This week was not as successful as last week.  I broke my plank streak and had trouble meeting my step and food log goals as well.  That said I'm not giving up!  I will do my very best this week even though I work late a few nights which usually throws me way off.  I'm going with the same basic goals as last week.

Goals for week of April 21st:

1. 10,000 steps per day 5 days this week.  Keep tweeting where I am when I hit it #10ksteps
2. Resurrect the #plankit streak
3. Record what I eat and try to hit 6 days this week, but 5 would still be great.

I'm almost to 10,000 steps as I write this and I'm going to plank and log my food so far today right now.  I have a good start!