Conflict Of Interest

Sometimes I feel like I am my own worst enemy.  Not just in the going out spending and consuming way, but also in the not taking opportunities way.  I will randomly go out on a weeknight, but say no to a weeknight invite ahead of time to a band or event.  I could call it trying to follow my goals, but am I?  Maybe I just don't want to try new things.  I think I do, but what if I really don't?  Sometimes I hear what other people are doing and I worry that my choices are wrong or worse boring.    

I may succumb to the desire to go out on a weeknight, but the goal is always to wait until Friday.  Is that even a worthy goal?  On Sunday I like to relax and get ready for the week, like the Seinfeld Episode I have to wind down before I start my week.  I have a friend that doesn't have that need at all. She calls it "bad decision Sunday" and treats it as if it was as good a day as Saturday.  I am so jealous of that attitude.  On the other hand, when I do go for it on a weeknight I end up often regretting it the next day.  Monday feels daunting when you're in worse shape than you were Friday.  I suppose a good compromise would be to try to stop the random going out for no reason and join in when a good opportunity comes along.  I really am trying to save money and lose weight and none of those things are helpful.  Life clearly can't be all about those two things.  It's the constant struggle to achieve a balance between the things we want and the things we should want.