Mid Week Update

So far this week I have biked every day and eaten fairly well.  I have also been logging my food which is one of my least favorite things to do second to exercise.  That's the upside, the bummer part is our insurance denied the gastric sleeve surgery for my husband.  I didn't realize that I had started to really want this for him until I felt so disappointed at hearing the news. 
We have what I always thought was good health insurance with BlueCross BlueShield, but they do not cover any weight loss surgery.  They have a morbid obesity clause that excludes weight loss surgery even if it would solve other costly medical problems.  Basically you can have all the heart attacks and babies you want, but preventative weight loss measures are frowned upon.  I feel like my options now are to research our plan with a fine tooth comb and see what there is available for us, and or pay for it out of pocket. 
In the mean time I have been watching The Biggest Loser and it really inspires me.  I would love to turn our house into my own version of a Biggest Loser camp and I would love for him to join me.  Regardless of what my husband chooses to do I have to get serious about losing weight right now.  I have events coming up that I really want to feel fit for.  I'm hoping that the upcoming trip to Hawaii will inspire him to help me create a healthy lifestyle for us both so we can support each other.  I know I could really use a partner in this, after all misery does love company.  I can't wait for the weekend!

Fall Is Another New Beginning

I had a wonderful time in Kah Nee Ta this weekend celebrating our 19th anniversary.  I wore my new swimsuit and sat at the pool all weekend.  I find myself on yet another Monday needing to get a full head of steam up for the week ahead of me for making good choices and trying to make some weight loss progress. 
Today is the beginning of Fall and a perfect time to try new things.  I am going to try to exceed an average of 10,000 steps per day and add biking in at every opportunity.  I also need to log my meals as often as possible.  I usually like to set a more specific list of goals, but I feel like I just need to start working harder in every aspect.  Maybe I'm still just so relaxed from my weekend. 

Small Wins, Small Gains

Last week I set a two level goal for myself, I would be thrilled to not have wine until this coming weekend, or happy with myself for making it to this past Friday.  I made it to Friday and it was a struggle, but I did it!  I turned down at least two invitations for meals and wine out and they were each difficult.  Thursday night I was beside myself with cravings for a patio dinner in the sun of salad and Pinot Gris.  However, I persevered and I felt great about it.  That is until I got on the scale this morning.  WTF?!!  I have put on another two pounds!  I'm freaking out!  I actually cried and considered canceling my trip to Hawaii. 
After I pulled myself together I realized I only have one choice and that is to keep trying.  I will drink a ton of water and see if the bull shit I'm selling myself about water weight is at all true.  I have logged breakfast and I'm going to plan some extra exercise.  I ordered a swim suit online that arrives Wednesday so I need to get a grip.  I also need to talk to my husband about the lead up to weight loss surgery.  There's been a lot of talk about how it will be good for both of us, which is true, but I will still have to diet and exercise to lose my weight and I need to stop this dream talk. 
My goals for this week are simple; exercise, eat light, avoid salt and wine. 

Back To Basics

I have plenty of excuses for how last week went.  I worked late and I felt sorry for myself, plus summer is ending and I feel sorry for myself.  Ok, so basically it's the one excuse for several different reasons.  The bottom line is I can't give up on my goals.  I have decided to get down to basics and just try to not over indulge. 
We are getting ready to go on a weekend trip and I have decided that if I do not go out and have wine etc until then then I get an A+.  If I go out this Friday and that's it then I can have an A-.  Anything more than that and I'm going to be pissed off enough to give myself an F!  It's only 11 days for Christ sake!!  I don't know why having fun now is always more alluring than achieving my goals later!  I just want to party and have fun!  Constantly thinking about each thing I put in my mouth is exhausting and I get sick of worrying about it.  That said, I also get tired of feeling chubby.  Here is to a fresh start on a Monday.  After all, that's about the only thing Mondays are good for. 

Short Week Syndrome

Am I the only one that is finding this short week particularly difficult?  I started out thinking "this should be easy, it's a short week".  Now I'm finally to Wednesday and I'm exhausted and I still have to work tomorrow night!  I worked last night, and was so depressed about it that I caved in and went out for drinks with friends which turned into more drinks and snacks.  I had an easier time being disciplined over the holiday weekend when I was relaxed. 
I do have some things going on at home which are distracting.  My husband has applied to have the gastric sleeve surgery and is very anxious to hear if he was accepted. This seems to be making my normally calm husband a little touchy which is in turn making me tense.  I was not a big fan of the idea at first because I'm from the school of "Eat less, Move more".  Of course you all know how well that's going for me, eye roll.  We went to a meeting to hear about the program at a local hospital and I looked around and realized this wasn't about me.  I'm 25 pounds heavier than I'd like to be, but I'm not obese or in ill health due to my weight.  I have no barrier to exercising and I don't have a food addiction.  This is not true for my husband, and after seeing how badly he wanted to do this I have come to see that this is what's best for him.  If he's healthier and happier, than I will be too.  I have always worried about his health, and have had concerns about losing him. 
In the mean time, we wait to hear if or when things will be happening.  I am very nervous, and worry if this really is the right thing to do.  In the end as adults in relationships we have to realize when our partner is going to do something with or without our blessing.  If I should come to want some sort of face lift surgery in the future I wouldn't want him to tell me no because he thinks I don't need it.  Well, of course he should say I don't need it, but then support me all the same!  I guess that's what a relationship is all about.  I am going to try to be more sensitive to his feelings and at the same time not sooth my ruffled feelings with food and wine. 

September First

The first day of anything (the month, the year, vacation) always holds so much promise.  It makes us feel like we can become anything we want to be.  For a brief period of time we allow ourselves to see what we really want and how we plan to achieve it.  That resolve is usually fleeting, and sends us back into our regular lives feeling a little blue.  However, come the next first day opportunity we get right back up and go for it again with renewed hopes and enthusiasm. 
Today is September 1st and I am going to grab this opportunity to ride a high that only the renewed spirit of a first day can give you.  I want to lose some weight.  I know the popular phrase is "get in shape", but it's too late for soft peddling.  I am almost the heaviest I have ever been and I know my face looks different because of it. 
The bottom line is I need to consume less calories and burn more.  A food journal is non negotiable and I think I need to go for 7 days per week because I way over do on the weekends.  Food and wine will need to be the main change because I generally get a pretty decent amount of activity.  Lame!!!  I hate this already!  I have a trip planned in a month and I want to wear a swim suit at the pool and I don't want it to be too tight.  I also have a wedding coming up in 3 months that I would love to not feel fat at.  Here's my plan for the coming week, which is shaping up to be an annoying week working 2 nights.

Goals for this week:

• 10,000 steps 6 out of 7 days
• Log food for 7 out of 7 days
• Bike - 3 times 30 minutes

Here's to the power of fresh starts!