Conflict Of Interest

Sometimes I feel like I am my own worst enemy.  Not just in the going out spending and consuming way, but also in the not taking opportunities way.  I will randomly go out on a weeknight, but say no to a weeknight invite ahead of time to a band or event.  I could call it trying to follow my goals, but am I?  Maybe I just don't want to try new things.  I think I do, but what if I really don't?  Sometimes I hear what other people are doing and I worry that my choices are wrong or worse boring.    

I may succumb to the desire to go out on a weeknight, but the goal is always to wait until Friday.  Is that even a worthy goal?  On Sunday I like to relax and get ready for the week, like the Seinfeld Episode I have to wind down before I start my week.  I have a friend that doesn't have that need at all. She calls it "bad decision Sunday" and treats it as if it was as good a day as Saturday.  I am so jealous of that attitude.  On the other hand, when I do go for it on a weeknight I end up often regretting it the next day.  Monday feels daunting when you're in worse shape than you were Friday.  I suppose a good compromise would be to try to stop the random going out for no reason and join in when a good opportunity comes along.  I really am trying to save money and lose weight and none of those things are helpful.  Life clearly can't be all about those two things.  It's the constant struggle to achieve a balance between the things we want and the things we should want.  

Get It Together Lady

I have a million valid excuses for why my exercise program is off track and why I felt I deserved more out dinners than my calories or bank account allow.  None of them are good enough and I need to focus on how to get back on track.
I am going to go back to the incentive tracker I had before my trip to Hawaii when things were clicking.  I get one point a day for staying on calorie budget and one for meeting my exercise goals when I hit 20 I get $20 for my vacation fund.  I have a beach trip planned in a few weeks and I need to save up calories and money, I am really hoping this will be the incentive I need to get focused.
I love going out and having wine and summer is such a festive time.  If I could stick to a reasonable amount of wine and food then I could justify going out more often.  However, I have the worst track record for sticking to my calories once I have a glass of wine.  I wish I knew why I don't want to achieve my goals bad enough to stop while I'm ahead.

What Is Perfect?

The topic of perfection comes up a lot in life, from a simple compliment to a philosophical discussion,  perfection is a hot topic.  I often say things like "This was a perfect eating day." or "What would I do on my perfect day?"  The thing is, you can't really plan perfection.  It's one of those things that either is or is not and is determined by that specific moment.  You can plan for all the correct conditions to make perfect possible, but you can't predict how you will interpret the situation when it happens for real.
I took some time to think about my perfect day and I realized that the questions that come up are very practical.  Is this a dream day and expense and location are no object?  Is it a weekday that I'm off work and I accomplish things such as writing the great American novel?  The one constant I found myself listing was no outside deadlines or pestering.  I think that has amplified as a wish since work got busy.  Nice weather and pool or beach side are also top of my list when location is no object.  I find the idea of being warm and being by water very soothing.
What I would not have on my perfect day are worries such as, money, work and weight.  With me, and probably most people, it comes back to those three main issues.  I have said it a billion times, but if I spent less on eating and drinking out I could achieve the other goal of spending less money.  It sounds so simple until I'm bored and or hungry.  I saw a condo I wanted the other day for what I think is a great price and I realized it's my own fault I can't call up and just buy it.  I have control of all of my biggest problems, which is both exciting and depressing.  I have posted motivational signs around my house and I think they might help, but sometimes I just want to go out.  The struggle for perfection continues.

So Much Fun, So Little Summer

It's been a long time between posts because life has been busy.  Work has been busier and more stressful than normal which means a little more money, but a lot less free time.  We went to California for a memorial service and were able to stay and enjoy a few days at Disneyland which was so much fun.  You can get a lot of steps while having your fun there, thats for sure!
Things at home have been great!  We are cooking a lot more and finding new recipes together.  It's so nice not to make dinner and then have someone eat ramen noodles afterwards.  I find that we have more things to do and talk about since we both share goals.  Activities with walking are now suggested by both of us and we seem to try to tempt each other less with going out to dinner.  Don't get me wrong, we still go out.  That's one of our favorite things to do, we just go less often and to different places.
The one thing I feel like I need to work on is my weekday biking and long walks at a high intensity.  I worry that I will be lighter, but not as ready for Portland to Coast this August.  Last year I went for a lot of walks with my friend that walks really fast and I was not nearly as sore after the race.  This year she has a job that keeps her really busy.  That's helped me with the calories from long lunches and happy hours, but not the walking.
I have to work several weekends this summer, so I have booked two trips that are pool centered.  This keeps me motivated for getting bathing suit ready and also cheers me up when I have to go to work.  I just thought of another thing to work on, spending.  Weight loss and money are my two biggest concerns.  I over indulge in both causing me stress that triggers one or both of the things that caused the stress in the first place!  I drive myself crazy sometimes.  Oh well, I have to just keep trying.  I do feel like I am making progress in both categories right now, so that feels great.  Go team!

I Could Get Used To This

After the initial shock of someone else making changes around my house I am totally on board.  We had the best weekend!  We have an annual membership to the Oregon Zoo and we went both days and walked around to get our steps in.  I didn't gain weight over the weekend and I love not being the only one counting my calories.  It's a whole new topic of conversation for us now.  I am even able to help him with his Myfitnesspal app.  I feel like there are so many more activities available to us now that we both want to walk places.  I can't wait for this weekend! 

Getting With The Program

I've had a couple days to get used to the changes that need to be made around my house.  You don't realize how much buying things at the grocery store becomes a habit that supports your eating habit.  I spent all day today trying to stock up on the right kind of low carb low sugar foods while still getting what I want.  What I realized is what I want is to continue eating like I have been but lose weight.  Since that's not going to happen I think I'll give this new style of eating a try.  I really don't need that much pasta and bread and I obviously don't have losing weight all figured out so it really does seem like it's worth a try.
One thing I noticed is how expensive all the foods are that are low carb, high protein and produce.  Luckily since my husband just quit nicotine gum we are saving $200 a month there.  Also, if we eat out less it should all even out in the end.  Even though the beginning of a lifestyle change is hard I know it will be worth it in the end. 
I am so thankful for my stationary bike and incredibly walkable neighborhood.  Exercise is the one consistently goal orientated thing I do and it really makes me feel better.  I skip days sometimes and the next day I always dread it a lot less because it really does help.  Of course, if life get busy it can easily go out the window.  

Rubber Meet Road

Sometimes things just click and we start watching what we eat and exercising for no specific reason.  Other times you are faced with a goal weight, be it self imposed or doctor mandated.  We have just been presented with the latter.  I have wanted my husband to take his health seriously for a long time, now it seems that he will be forced to make some changes.  The scary part is I will have to make some changes too.  I don't really like change, and I prefer to be the in control person.  He needs a low carbohydrate diet, and I love carbs! 
I felt a little overwhelmed at first, but I can see now that it's really better for both of us.  We aren't getting any younger and if we want to do the things we have planned we will need to get fit and save money.  UGH!!!!  It always comes down to those two things.  At least exercising is still part of my routine.